What if I don’t remember?

B questioning me nov 13

la sénescence ne pardonne pas
La mémoire
est une faculté
qui oublie.

Senility is unforgiving.
Memory
is a faculty
that forgets.

*********

What if I don’t remember?

Every time

I don’t remember

a name, a street even a number

I do get queasy

inside my tummy.

what are my fears?

have my fair share.

driving about … anywhere

what if I lose my way out there?

I do get frightened

I’ll not come back

get lost in thought

take two wrong turns

and then I fear

I’ll lose my way…

but what about

my thoughts, my words

your face, your voice,

and all my memories?

that blasted

evil enemy

may visit me

some day …

  and stay!

That shameful senility

may rob me of my dignity.

© Cheryl-Lynn, 2014/05/02

Submitted for: PookyPoetry Daily Prompts – What scares you?

9 thoughts on “What if I don’t remember?”

  1. Awh look at your beautiful photo! That scares me too cause my Pa had Alzheimer’s. I remember when he first started forgetting. He had the sharpest mind and could remember vast amounts of poetry and numbers. So when I forget it worries me. Lately I’ve been forgetting what day it is. But that’s because I’m always working ahead a month but still it felt like Thursday all week! I had to comment on this before I went to bed because this is a wonderful post and I feel a lot like you described! Hugs to you sweet friend😄❤️💜💗I love your bracelets. Girl you are rockin the Bling! > >

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    1. Still Alice is such a beautiful story and I gave it to my sister. It helped me understand my mom Mom would say when I’d visit her the first stages, “Are you really here or am I dreaming?” I would hug her and say, “If it feels good and right, it’s real Mom and just savour it.”

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      1. Oh it was wonderful in terms of helping me to understand but I think that was exactly why it was terrifying. It’s not an illness that just happens to other people is it. It could be me, or you.

        It was one of the most eye opening books I’ve ever read.

        I love your approach to your Mum! My Mum is bipolar and used to have regular hallucinations when I was a kid. Sometimes they would be really horrible but between us we learnt that no matter what she was hallucinating about, her father would always be sat in the larder, so any time she wasn’t sure if what she was seeing was real, she would go and check the larder. It really helped, bizarre as it sounds. Amazing how you find your own little ways to make things work.

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