Staring at the title of her story, she smiles. Her mind drifts back in time and she relishes in the treasures of precious moments … priceless moments. The image of her six year self comes into focus as she tiptoes to his bedroom watching those adults kneeling around his bed…her mother, uncles, aunties and GrandMaman…whispering “Je vous salue, Marie” between choked sobs. He sees her in the doorway and smiles with his blue liquid eyes before the adults shoo her away. His smile embedded in her memory forever, seeing death as another beginning…how could it not be with that smile minutes before his last breath?
Her mind fast forwards to that time asking the chemist to write down on her receipt the results of her test…after years trying, the word had a lyrical sound to it, “positive”. Her mind hangs around that time in her life and she plays out those months in slow motion…”Oh my,” she thinks to herself, “The best things in life are really free!”
swelling belly
butterfly tickles
embracing life
©Tournesol’17/02/21
dVerse Poets Pub – The Best Things in Lie are Free – Haibun
I liked the parallel between death in the first paragraph and life in the second and the phrase “she plays out those months in slow motion”.
LikeLike
It was a lovely journey to revisit writing this, thank you…I still remember the first movements feeling like tiny flutters…bubbles. An early June morning and water was rising in our basement in our new home and I could have cared less…For the first time, I felt life.
LikeLike
I savored your story of death and birth. When my father passed, we left his room and, as a family, we went to the nursery to see the new babies. It was a solace somehow. Thank you for reminding me.
LikeLike
Thank you. Your experience has moved me.
LikeLike
This is so effective when told in third person… still making us feel as a first person narrative. Then the contrast between that smiling parting and the first greeting create a great connection in the story..
LikeLike
Thank you, Björn! I try as much as possible to always write in the third person. It helps me to take a step back and see what the reader will see…it helps me to see if I truly got my message across:)
LikeLike
What an amazing haibun. Life ending, life beginning. Love in it all. And I love the last sentence!
LikeLike
Thank you so much for your kind words…I`m pleased you enjoyed this haibun.
LikeLike
I love this. I lived in France (as a nun/nurse) in a former life. I can’t begin to tell you how many “Je vous salue’s” I said and heard. For me the contrast between life and death is always so meaningful.
LikeLike
I still don’t know the proper words in French, only the second part from repeating it in church. As I went to school in English and learned my prayers in English. You are the fourth person I know that used to be a nun. Karen Armstrong former nun, is a published author, The Spiral Staircase is one book she signed for me when I lived in Toronto.
LikeLike
Death as another beginning, I believe in this ~ Enjoyed your haibun and nice to meet you ~
LikeLike
Thanks so much, Grace 🙂
LikeLike
I like the way you have linked birth and death into the endless cycle of life here. Your writing has a lovely lyrical quality to it.
LikeLike
Thanks, Suzanne. It was a treat to write about this too…like reliving those special moments.
LikeLiked by 1 person