secrets of the soul (haibun)

This week at Dungeon prompt we are asked to write about one of the more wilder things we’ve done in our life that looks a little out of place when put up next to the rest of our life’s journey. Or take it in another direction and write about our monsters, or demons.

boul St Laurent Montréal Street art, ’17

I think the worse monster I may have is self-doubt and questioning my own self-worth. That is not something that family and friends close to me know…more or less. It has its strengths and its weaknesses. In strength it emits humility. In weakness it chips away at my spirt and elicits inertia.

Some things, however, are best left unsaid. Have you ever held on to a deep dark secret for years and finally share one day out of sheer vulnerability? Perhaps you were tired or experiencing too many layers and layers of stresses in your life that that last drop made you spill some of it over. Maybe you were so raw and drunk with grief, it trickled out, only to discover later it may not have been the right person to dump on.

Maybe a priest, a therapist, a minister, a rabbi or a guru are appropriate recipients but is a friend the same? Is a spiritual guide better? Some things seem worse spoken out loud. Don’t they? Fantasies may be harmless until some are shared or acted upon. What about secrets deep inside that may shock your friend(s) or family? We all have demons, don’t we?

rarely share
secrets of the soul
hidden deep inside

life
all its dips and rises
every single day

always try to share
power of your faith
fullness of the heart

rarely share
secrets of the soul
hidden deep inside

most don’t really care
too busy with their dole

mornings
start in darkness
brighten thru the day

ups and downs
a fact of life
taken all in stride

caring is so easy
giving also pleasing
looking outwards

feeling all their pain
comfort and appease them
letting go of  self

never  share
secrets of the soul
hidden deep inside

dare not to confide
mysteries that confuse
merely cause unease

only wish they’d ask – instead,
keep my thoughts confined

death awaits us all
patient – unassuming
dark before the light

death awaits us all
some may rather choose
not to wait

patient and unassuming
spirits of the night
floating orbs invite

dark before the light
lasting and forbidding
demon of the night

demon of the night
asks not for forgiveness – lures
with empty promise

lasting and forbidding
clinging to the fabric
ripping at the soul

mending seems so futile
hopelessness a trend

dark before the light
demons sweeten my demise
cravings of an end

never  ever share
secrets of the soul
hidden deep inside

life
like a valley
days bump in the night

darkness seems forever
climbing insurmountable

never ever share
secrets of the soul
hidden deep inside

praying lifts the soul
defying troubled times
builds protective shields

praying lifts the soul
demons kept at bay
harmless deep inside

defying troubled times
teasing Satan with his fire
smothering it with faith

builds protective shields
containing scents of weakness
fragrance of despair

writing keeps me sane
faith puts out the fires
praying is the same

never ever share
secrets of the soul
hidden deep inside

misunderstood,
hasty revelations may
alienate and scare

judge and jury
etched upon their faces

I shall never share
some secrets of the soul
hidden deep inside

some things
better left unsaid
only He can see

healing with His love
waiting for that moment

drying all my tears
opening my eyes – finally
see His blessed light

best to never share
secrets of the soul
unless through your prayers

© Tournesol’17/09/23