Category Archives: Photography

an Easter date Easter date Haibun April 12 2020

 

A friend sends links of live videos which offer hope and peace.  She is busy and misses out on one.  And then she sits watching news from New York and then Quebec.  Her heart aches and she cannot seem to shake off the grief for so many people.  An hour earlier she had  sent three self videos to loved ones showing how healthy and fine she is, offering best wishes for Easter.  Easter is a time to rejoice …a time for rebirth.

Another alert from her tablet sounds the arrival of a message from her friend who sends her two more links…one is gospel music which shifts her mood and the other is Andrea Bocelli: Music for Hope. She had forgotten to tune into this live.

shedding tears
this time for hope
releasing joy

Looking from her patio window, she smiles.  A couple meet in front of her building.  She wishes she could have captured the 4 inch heels but that  would have looked too nosy [chuckles].   It was so adorable to see the brief encounter and a few hours before the police car passed by checking up on the neighbourhood and social-distancing.

No photo description available.

le rendezvous
at two arms length
hearts swell

© Tournesol ‘20/04/12

living today (troibun)

Image may contain: tree, plant, sky, outdoor and nature
(c) clr’20

A month has passed already!

Since January 1st, she had been working remotely more and more. First there was the move and later, the struggles on her body traveling and walking on icy sidewalks and flu season worried her a lot. In three months she may have gone to the office five days at best. It was already her new normal. However shopping for odds and ends she needed to fix up her new home and doing her own groceries were outtings she looked forward to until March.  What she misses the most is seeing friends and family…oh my, miss those hugs!

Last night she slept thirteen hours losing part of the day. After months of sleeping four to six hours a night, she gave into her body’s screaming request. Was it the exertion from cleaning and scrubbing? Was it giving in to her chronic pain? Or was it hiding from another day? Perhaps a bit of both but her body thanks her? A much needed vacation after months of packing and unpacking. Oh! There are still many things to do but at least she had the opportunity to make her new home look decent enough and not “quite” climbing the walls (or have to wash them down too!)

What really worries her most was the unknown future. She is saddened her children and grandchildren …people who are younger than her have to be faced with a very very different world. She knew the world was changing but never thought she would be alive to see how it would impact on so many younger people…how her heart breaks thinking of this.

It’s also a time of year when she usually does a bit of cooking…home baked beans, split pea soup à la Jeanne Benoit (she’s tried a few including Ricardo’s and no one can beat Jeanne plus her added touch of course) along with ham, pâtés and tête de fromage and a variety of sweet pies. Her Grandpères are not as good as those from la Cabane à sucre but lots and lots of chocolate.

When she was younger, during la semaine sainte (holy week) her grandmaman would cook eggs in syrup for breakfast along with beans baked in molasses or maple syrup. Of course beans were a regular Sunday breakfast even outside Easter week. After Sunday mass many churchgoers would pick up home baked beans at a grocer.

She takes comfort thinking of those days, just like food giving one comfort. It is enjoyable to cook and bake for others but to do it alone is a challenge lacking so much joy, missing the smiling faces and comments of “Mmmm” and “More please”.

It’s 18:30 and as much as she has avoided hearing her prime minister or premier speak…she turns on the screen awakening her to reality.

Under grey skies
A leader talks about peace
Spring snowflakes

Under grey skies
Heavy
With new angels

A leader talks about peace
Birds chirp softly
Chasing soporifics

Spring snowflakes
Maples running gold liquid
humans may not taste

© Tournesol ’20-04-09

Daily Moments – April 9 2020 – Living Today (haibun)

A yellow van (troibun)

No alarms this morning…it is her day off. A sleep disturbed by dread and worry forces her to dive under her duvet giving her a sense of false security. It’s time to get up. No sounds in the stairwell like in the old “normal”. All in their own time now…a slower pace, a screaming silence in the halls.

Such a restless night worrying about her work yesterday. No matter how much she kept repeating, “Let it go, ride the wave and let it go”, it still stuck to her. And so she decides to look over her notes from yesterday and emails. Such a relief to humbly realize she had misinterpreted one message and a smile starts forming on her face.

She begins to write a letter of thanks to her managers for the support they have given her and her colleagues in the past ten days. It has been challenging to work from home for so many especially those with children. How to keep them busy…how to keep the teens at home without going stark raving mad?!

Looking at her street, she notices the odd cyclist braving the cold at 3C but the forecast is supposed to go up to 11 mid-day. Yes, she might go out for a walk later and wear only her Sketchers rather then winter boots…such a treat to walk in lighter footwear!

A yellow van with flashing lights parks in front of her building…her heart flip flops wondering who and what is happening? Is there a person who is sick? Is it Covid19 or something else? She dares not open her door to see in the hallway but peaks through the peephole and sees masked paramedics on her floor!  Later she sees them wheeling out a woman from her floor…

Image may contain: outdoor
(c)Clr ‘2020/03/26

She just  may not go out today…

a jogger
passing a cyclist
life goes on

a jogger
mentally balanced
physically fit

passing a cyclist
leaning on a walking stick
a man shuffles slowly

life goes on
a women in labour
cry of a newborn

© Tournesol ‘2020/03/26

Dally moments March 26th 2020 a yellow van troibun

riding the waves (haibun)

I read a poem written by Sreejit Poole from TheSeekersDungeon and it poked my muse this morning.  I just love when that happens!    TheSeekersDungeon  

***

Another grey winter (when will this season end?) Will I be engulfed again by the same dark waves or will  I try to ride them today?

I find snippets of joy when I look at my bff’s (best feline friends)…Bette who is growing like me (older, slower and fatter) and Kali, who makes me smile and frown all in one gesture. Today I will try to seek those milliseconds while riding those waves.

waking up
feels like gasping for air
wish me back to sleep

mind will just not heed
always stubbornly
poking at me

riding the waves
i try to float above
repeating my mantra

over and over
sacred and compassionate
i see her smiling

sadness looms
pushing me underwater
at least, i fall asleep

so many stories
performing in my mind
or is it a dream?

peering from one eye
another wave is coming
quickly i must dive
beneath softness and safety
my downy duvet

shifting faithfully
mantra to Hail Mary’s
urging theta waves

slipping into delta
images and narratives
distract me

shifting now and then
altering my perception
some dreams make me smile

was this a dream?
my mind is playing tricks
real’s overrated
who cares if this is fiction?
my frown turned upside down!

Shuffling from my bedroom, I’m greeted by Bette who seems to frown a bit. She’s sulking me these days because I will not let her come in my bedroom anymore. I’m tired of cleaning so much fur that weaves into the fabric of all my bedding. Kali comes racing out and flops down at my feet causing me to stop or else I might trip. She’s like a puppy rather than a feline. She follows me everywhere and sometimes races ahead of me wanting to play.

Once I sit with my coffee, Bette sits on a bench next to my chair and waits for me to pet her. This morning she refused to give me the “loving look”. You know when you look at a cat and slowly close and open your eyes…your feline friend usually closes their eyes to show they love you. Nope, not today, she’s still sulking me.

Kali drapes herself upon my chest like a universal scarf. Her loud purrs soothe me as if to help counteract the effects of my cup of java. World Health Organization should add felines as good for one’s health to lower blood pressure. I cannot help but smile at both my feline friends this morning, who simply “are” and their presence makes me feel like I am wrapped in silk and velvet.

watching them relax
waiting for the sun to peak
behind winter clouds

my furry friends
teaching me so patiently
how “to be”

 

(c) Tournesol ‘ 2020/03/06

 

Daily Moments – March 6  2020 – riding the waves

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Godspeed Stéphanie!

rooftop sunset
(c) Clr’19 Rooftop sunset on de Gaspé, Mile End

Another person’s leaving and I can’t help but feel sad today, thinking back on that sparkle in her eyes when she first started. Watching the complicities and banters her night team had together was touching. Enjoying her photos of vacation spots exploring the world with her partner, was my way of living vicariously through a select few people I admire here.

And as if, those eyes could not take ‘shimmer’ to another level, blossoming into a beautiful woman and mother. For those who ‘get it’ when you look at your child and your heart wants to burst through your chest, there is so much love there, one could see this so clearly on her whole being as well.

Something changes dramatically when you have a child. Seeing her reminded me how those days when I returned to work with my first born. Work took second place and slowly I became to carve a new path for myself… a turning point that took a long time but brought me to my place, my passion, I still have today.

Over time, that sparkle dimmed in her eyes when she returned and I could see how she too was slowly weaving a new tapestry that would include her true self, her family and her passion. A place to breathe and feel valued and recognize the light around her again. And so, selfishly I am sad to see her go, I truly, get it.

This time it is not a new chapter but a new book. Remember how those first pages are gleaming and welcome a new story?  This is her new narrative etched with her passion and dedication to herself, her family and to those new souls who will benefit from her professionalism, her expertise, her savoir-faire and mostly her kindness.

summer waves goodbye
autumn announces change, yet…
vibrant and alive

Godspeed, Stéphanie!

© Tournesol ‘19/09/20

September 20 2019 Daily moments, Godspeed Stéphanie Haibun