embracing moments of joy (haibun)

 

(c) clr’2022

As we hope to approach the end of this pandemic, a month ago the world witnessed an explosion of chaos, of violence, of trauma, of one of the worse assaults against humanity…I’m not an expert on this.  I am but an ordinary person who is in her late autumn years…or is it winter? Well, it is not spring or summer, so you figure it out.

Watching the news is a cat and mouse affair for me.  I want to be in the “know” but most days I can no longer handle it.  I know I need to be fresh and together so my heart is open to be filled with trauma, sorrow and the multiple questions from a confused generation of youths and young adults.   And so I watch the news 3 days a week to keep some balance in my heart…my mind.

I cry for youths.  I cry for my children and their children…heck, I cry for anyone who is younger than me and so many of their dreams are in question.  I weep out of fear, worry, disappointment with the world and how we have become split in so many ways…more than I have ever seen in my lifetime.

I have lived a long full life without the chaos we are faced with now but my heart aches especially  for children, teens and young families all over the world.

I have been trying to  embrace brief moments of joy…I heard a flock (gaggle)  of geese honking over my building at sunset last week…the sound made my heart beat just a little faster. My geranium is blossoming so much as it stretches out towards the sun in my bedroom window…embracing moments of joy, my feline stretching in the sunshine and my granddaughter talking to me in “her” language that is music to Nana’s ears.

 

don’t cry little one
the sun is shining today
hear the geese honk

April rains wash pain away
the sun will dry your cheeks

chin up little one
skipping rope and chanting rhymes
oh! sweet merriment

(c)tournesol ‘2022-03-30

Friendships (haibun ~ troibun)

Valentine’s is supposed to be about love and couples but since I had my children 4 decades ago,  it was more about LOVE for anyone who is very special to you, especially my immediate family. 

I remember cutting out Valentine cards to share at school to those “special people” …if it was someone, we had a little crush on, we did not sign it. I also helped my children cut theirs out as well and in this generation, they seem to include more people.  I am hoping that is indicative of the world we now live in…to be kind to one another…to show support and caring.

The media shows us the opposite because unfortunately “tragedy sells.”  Yet, with all that has been going on in the world in the past two years, I am sick of giving attention to sadness, cruelty, and hardships. I am not saying I want to live in a bubble, but I/we DO need balance…knowing about kindness and how wonderful many people have come forward to help one another warms my heart and that too should be in the media…not just an addendum at the end of the news.

One thing I have loved doing in the past few years is writing my own greeting cards and sending them out to some friends far and near…mostly friends who live alone like me.

I do not know about you but when I get something in the mail, I get so excited…I run upstairs and put the envelope on the dining room table and make myself a cuppa tea and then I sit down and savour it. Sometimes it is one line and other times it is a bit longer but the fact that someone cared enough to write something on paper, put it in an envelope, sealed it with love, addressed it with care and attention, put a stamp and walked or drove to drop it off in a mailbox means so much!

I had another selfish reason to do this as well. It inspires me to write a poem and talk in writing to a friend, and forcing me to walk to the nearest mailbox which is 1 km away…so it is also beneficial to my physical and mental health to walk which is something I have not done much this winter especially since my fall early in January. It made me wary of walking on icy sidewalks.

I often try to spread out the cards so I have to go out more often. 

This is a troiku (new form of haiku created by Chevrefeuille, at Carpe Diem Haiku Kai I wrote a few days ago, that made me think of my friends this valentine week.

 

greyness lingers
lockdowns hold us prisoners
when will winter leave?

greyness lingers
looking for a bit of light
shining in my heart

lockdowns hold us prisoners
soon the days shall pass
Oh, see the light shine

when will winter leave?
thankful for a caring friend
brightens every day

© tournesol 2022-2-11

 
la grisaille s’attarde
les confinements emprisonnent
l’hiver nous quittera quand?

la grisaille s’attarde
mon cœur s’alimente à la poursuite
de la lumière

les confinements emprisonnent
bientôt le jour va paraitre
voilà, luminescence

enfin l’hiver nous quitte
enchantée d’une amie dévouée
égaiera chaque jour

© tournesol 2022-2-11

 


Grief etched on faces ~ daily moments

It's week two of our partial lockdown, curfews and life in this fifth wave.  My heart goes out to people living alone, especially seniors who have no family or few friends.  And then I feel for youths.  How do they see the world these days, having been robbed of so much these passed two years

underlining grief etched upon faces
woven in the fabric of their souls

upside down smiles
not knowing why, how, when
will life feel moderately
tolerable
again

trying to pull away
feeling bits of freedom
independence
rebellious 
teens being teens

but not now
stolen pockets of time 
laughing with friends
no one sees their smiles
masked with triple layers
no one sees their frowns
no one hears their truths
crying silently in their dreams

underlining grief etched upon  faces
woven in the fabric of their souls

a time to make friends
meet new people
parties here
get-together there

finally find that special
person
who gets them…

and yet, all those
experiences pre-pandemic 
wishful dreams
unrequited loves
unfulfilled aspirations

isolation
desperation
precious paltry moments
facetiming, 
echoes of a video chat

working part time
everyone under pressure
bosses seem demanding
clients irritated
parents stressed and worried

cabin fever breaks
time for a walk
bike ride is always safe
winter sucks these times
holding them hostage
reality biting with a vengence 


underlining grief etched upon  faces
woven in the fabric of their souls

© cheryl-lynn ‘2022-01-07  

Daily Moments  Jan 7 2022

14 beams if light

In memory of the 14 women who were killed Dec 6, 1989 there will be a tribute planned for the victims of Ecole Polytechnique shooting.

The women killed in 1989 were Genevieve Bergeron, Helene Colgan, Nathalie Croteau, Barbara Daigneault, Anne-Marie Edward, Maud Haviernick, Barbara Klucznik-Widajewicz, Maryse Laganiere, Maryse Leclair, Anne-Marie Lemay, Sonia Pelletier, Michele Richard, Annie St-Arneault and Annie Turcotte.

Fourteen beams of light will be projected into the sky from Mount Royal where  Prime Minister Trudeau, Quebec Premier Francois Legault and Montreal Mayor, Valerie Plante are set to be present.


14 beams of light 
reaching to the sky
tears  in heaven

14 beams of light
14 innocent women 
hear their cries

reaching to the sky
pleading for answers
still …feeling their loss 

tears in heaven
forever
we remember

(c)  tournesol 2021/12/06

Tributes planned for victims of École Polytechnique shooting on 32nd anniversary - The Globe and Mail

november rain (senryu)

Waking up
To darkness
Filled the day with dread

Sombre
Contemplation
Filled her living room

Thoughts of tomorrow
Same ol’, same ol’
Hope too far to see

Thankful
For digital distractions
Turning minds to mush

Breaking the numbness,
The sun began to rise
Oh! So round and bright!

One hundred & eight
Minutes of glorious sunshine
…phonecall from a friend

rays of true friendship
always pierce november skies
set her heart aglow

© tournesol ’2021/11/13

Daily Moments – November 13 2021 November rain

untold futures ~ free verse

untold futures 

so many changes,
scent of decay
necessary losses

autumn leaves
waving like there’s
no tomorrow…

unknown destinies..
are they really?
darkness looms
ever so cunning

coloured leaves
giving notions of joy,
 and yet, 
life’s on pause…

trees shedding
life- one by one…
on a sheet of rot

children unaware
seeing only beauty
prancing, giggling
jumping into piles
staring at the sky
until they’re all packed
stuffed in paper bags
carted off -- interred

some buried 
in their gardens
rest through the winter
bringing life to earth
in the spring

how I love the different shades
this  bittersweet season
the freshness 
of the air
and yet,
the scent of death
pierces my soul
my joints scream
my heart is heavy…
wondering if spring
will ever come again… 

©cheryl-lynn  2021/09/21

Daily Moment Muse – Free Verse

wind in my face ~ Troiku

Daily Moments - September 21 2021...the wind was blowing and the curtains were covering my screen and this is what my muse picked up.



wind in my face ~ Troiku a new form of haiku created by Chevrefeuille at Carpe Diem Haiku Kai


flaming Flamenco
dancing feverishly
my lace curtains

flaming Flamenco
filled with heat and seasons
summer loves end

dancing feverishly
like the last race 
to the finish line

my lace curtains
waving faintly
adieu

© Tournesol 2021/09/21


vulnerablity ~ Troiku (daily moments Sept 3, 2021)

Yellow lines forming
leaves of the elm tree
autumn’s warning

yellow lines forming
open to a new season
falling leaves

leaves of the elm tree
shading my living room
holding my secrets

autumn’s warning
bare branches will soon
colour me naked

© tournesol’2021-09-03

(Troiku is a new form of haiku created by Chevrefeuille at Carpe Diem Haiku Kai)

Nature weeps – (free verse and haiku) Daily Moments July 30 2021

Clr’2021/07/30

Nature weeps – (free verse and haiku)

written after reading the untruths of Rhéal Forest in Manitoba – a man of the cloth

…and I cried

I listened with apprehension
to a man of the cloth
not!  a man of God
because a man of God
does not judge
a man of God loves
unconditionally

and I listened
my mouth agape

this man filled
with self-righteousness
callous and vindictive
defending other men and women
of the cloth

and the more he professed
his twisted truths

I cried…

and the more I imagined
those who do not want to believe
and judge and blame the victims

I cried…

and the man of the cloth
spoke with a twisted tongue
filled with venom
like a snake…

and I cried…
for the first brothers and sisters
of their native land
who have nourished this land
and taught us how to survive

where grand-maman fed my mother
where my mother fed her children
and where I fed my children and their children
I struck my chest
with my fist
again and again and again

and I cried…

for the untruths
from this man
of the cloth
who is not a man of God

and I cried…

© cheryl-lynn ‘2021/07/30

(troiku) a new form of Haiku

leaves flutter
gentle breeze underneath
blossoms shudder

leaves flutter
speaking softly
fledglings nestle

gentle breeze underneath
vibrant colours
sway

blossoms shudder
nature
cries softly

© Tournesol ‘2021/7/30

Daily moments July 30 2021

Happy Birthday, Mom (troibun) ~ daily moments

On the 2nd day of summer, a baby girl was born.  I wonder why they did not call her Summer but of course it did not translate well in French.  And so, Colombe (Dove in English) was born.  She was planned, so I hear from stories from my GrandMaman, on one Sunday afternoon.  How did they manage to have the house to themselves and what on earth was on their minds, coming from Sunday mass?

My grandparents had a flat on the 2nd floor of City Hall at the time, because my grandfather was Chief of Police.

My grandmother often said that out of all the children there was always one that was chosen to take care of their parents in their old age.  My grandmother used to call Colombe,  “Mon baton de veillesse’’ (old aged stick…which really means ‘old age crutch’.)

But you must remember in those days in 1925,  good Catholic families prohibited from family planning…this baby was planned.  GrandMaman used to say a baby planned on a Sunday was ‘’un bébé d’amour’’ …I am not sure love child means the same thing.

And so June 22, 1926, Colombe was born…the fourth child, the middle child of seven.  Of course this was a small family compared to other good Catholic families back then.  My grandmother was fortunate to have learned young, as a midwife, when a woman ovulated…and so she found her way to plan her family despite the sin she may have committed.

I wonder how they spoke about this plan coming home from Sunday mass.

Mother:  I think it’s time to plan for a child that will take care of us in our old age.

Father:  Okay [with a twinkle in his eye and skip in his step.]

Mother:  Yes, this afternoon would be a good time while the children are at the cottage.

Father:  I aim to please, my love.

I don’t know if she carried her to term of 40 weeks, so I imagine this discourse took place sometime in September or early October…oh my!  I wonder if it was on my Grandmother’s birthday, October 13th….[rushing to check 1925 calendar…okay, so let’s add a bit of imagination to this story] 

On October 11, 1925,  GrandPapa asked his spouse what she wanted for her birthday October 13th.   And that was her present!  I bet GrandPapa wished he could gift her like that more often…[chuckles]

Colombe certainly became a special “baton”…when her little brother was only one, he had TB and she had to quit school having completed Grade 9 to take care of him for two years while he had a body cast. 

From there she later went to Montreal at Hairdressing school at Morgan’s (The Bay).  She stayed at her sister’s who had a baby and a toddler and became a live in Nanny when she was not in school because her sister like to wine and dine with the rich and famous and her husband.

She never really got to live life on her own freely…and when she met my father, who was auditing a company in her small town, they married six months later.

I’m glad she did because I wouldn’t be here today .There is a story to tell on that day forward but suffice to say the best part was having moi and my sister, right? [smiles]

She was an amazing daughter, friend, spouse, sister, mother and the most loving and fun Nanny as well.  I am so glad my children have fond memories of her.

Happy Birthday, Mom. Even in heaven, I bet there is some heavenly celebration you so deserve.

autumn love
sowing seeds in fertile ground
June blossoms thrive

autumn love
embryo warm and safe
winter womb

sowing seeds in fertile ground
praying for a good harvest
faith, hope and love

June blossoms thrive
Creator’s love in abundance
reaping virtues

© Tournesol ‘2021/06/22

P.S. Dear Mom. Please sprinkle your magic down here tonight so the Montreal Canadiens can beat the  Vegas Golden Knights.

Daily Moments – Happy Birthday Mom - Troibun