Category Archives: Tournesol dans un jardin

vulnerablity ~ Troiku (daily moments Sept 3, 2021)

Yellow lines forming
leaves of the elm tree
autumn’s warning

yellow lines forming
open to a new season
falling leaves

leaves of the elm tree
shading my living room
holding my secrets

autumn’s warning
bare branches will soon
colour me naked

© tournesol’2021-09-03

(Troiku is a new form of haiku created by Chevrefeuille at Carpe Diem Haiku Kai)

Happy Birthday, Mom (troibun) ~ daily moments

On the 2nd day of summer, a baby girl was born.  I wonder why they did not call her Summer but of course it did not translate well in French.  And so, Colombe (Dove in English) was born.  She was planned, so I hear from stories from my GrandMaman, on one Sunday afternoon.  How did they manage to have the house to themselves and what on earth was on their minds, coming from Sunday mass?

My grandparents had a flat on the 2nd floor of City Hall at the time, because my grandfather was Chief of Police.

My grandmother often said that out of all the children there was always one that was chosen to take care of their parents in their old age.  My grandmother used to call Colombe,  “Mon baton de veillesse’’ (old aged stick…which really means ‘old age crutch’.)

But you must remember in those days in 1925,  good Catholic families prohibited from family planning…this baby was planned.  GrandMaman used to say a baby planned on a Sunday was ‘’un bébé d’amour’’ …I am not sure love child means the same thing.

And so June 22, 1926, Colombe was born…the fourth child, the middle child of seven.  Of course this was a small family compared to other good Catholic families back then.  My grandmother was fortunate to have learned young, as a midwife, when a woman ovulated…and so she found her way to plan her family despite the sin she may have committed.

I wonder how they spoke about this plan coming home from Sunday mass.

Mother:  I think it’s time to plan for a child that will take care of us in our old age.

Father:  Okay [with a twinkle in his eye and skip in his step.]

Mother:  Yes, this afternoon would be a good time while the children are at the cottage.

Father:  I aim to please, my love.

I don’t know if she carried her to term of 40 weeks, so I imagine this discourse took place sometime in September or early October…oh my!  I wonder if it was on my Grandmother’s birthday, October 13th….[rushing to check 1925 calendar…okay, so let’s add a bit of imagination to this story] 

On October 11, 1925,  GrandPapa asked his spouse what she wanted for her birthday October 13th.   And that was her present!  I bet GrandPapa wished he could gift her like that more often…[chuckles]

Colombe certainly became a special “baton”…when her little brother was only one, he had TB and she had to quit school having completed Grade 9 to take care of him for two years while he had a body cast. 

From there she later went to Montreal at Hairdressing school at Morgan’s (The Bay).  She stayed at her sister’s who had a baby and a toddler and became a live in Nanny when she was not in school because her sister like to wine and dine with the rich and famous and her husband.

She never really got to live life on her own freely…and when she met my father, who was auditing a company in her small town, they married six months later.

I’m glad she did because I wouldn’t be here today .There is a story to tell on that day forward but suffice to say the best part was having moi and my sister, right? [smiles]

She was an amazing daughter, friend, spouse, sister, mother and the most loving and fun Nanny as well.  I am so glad my children have fond memories of her.

Happy Birthday, Mom. Even in heaven, I bet there is some heavenly celebration you so deserve.

autumn love
sowing seeds in fertile ground
June blossoms thrive

autumn love
embryo warm and safe
winter womb

sowing seeds in fertile ground
praying for a good harvest
faith, hope and love

June blossoms thrive
Creator’s love in abundance
reaping virtues

© Tournesol ‘2021/06/22

P.S. Dear Mom. Please sprinkle your magic down here tonight so the Montreal Canadiens can beat the  Vegas Golden Knights.

Daily Moments – Happy Birthday Mom - Troibun

summertime (troiku) daily moments June 20/2021


at the seashore
wind of summer through my hair
the shortest night

© Chèvrefeuille

At the seashore
Roar of rolling waves
Squeals of excitement

Wind of summer through my hair
Toes quickly turning blue
Summertime in Maine

The shortest night
after honouring fathers
summer solsltice

© Tournesol ‘2021/06/20





Written for Carpe Diem 1845, a troiku about summertime.

Singular “they” and the many reasons why it’s correct

“…and that is that!”they said firmly.

Motivated Grammar

Suppose you were reading and came to the following line:

“She kept her head and kicked her shoes off, as everybody ought to do who falls into deep water in their clothes.”

Would you …
(a) continue reading, because that’s a perfectly acceptable sentence, or
(b) throw a tantrum and insist that the author is an imbecile speeding the wholesale destruction of the English language?

If you’re a regular reader of this blog, you’re probably answering (a). If you’re answering (b), I regret to inform you that you hate the writing of C. S. Lewis.

And if you’re the sort to answer (b), the sort of person who rages at the alleged grammatical buffoonery of your fellows, I’m sure it’s because you think you’re doing us all a favor, and that your condescending tone is justified because: first, you’re being helpful regardless of the tone you’re using; second, people…

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a Big covid day ~ Daily Moments ~ Haibun Apr 8 2021

Today was the big day!! Yep, my daughter was kind enough to take time off her busy work day to pick me up and drive me to get my first dose of COVID-19 vaccine.  It’s done!  I feel fine and so grateful it is over…thankful to my daughter and every person working or volunteering in this project.

Okay, that is now but last night I was worried.  I had a sore throat for the past two days and a sinus headache last night.  I have chronic rhinitis and some allergies so all this is NORMAL but when you are getting an important vaccine, your mind plays tricks on you…especially if you are a worry wart.

So I got up at 4am and called the health line and the nurse said I should be fine. I mentioned that I heard you are not supposed to take Tylenol the morning of the vaccination and asked if I could take Advil…she had not heard about this but mentioned that Advil has more side effects and did not recommend it.  I took care of my throat and sinuses with salt and a good rinse a few times, then honey/lemon drops. Yeah, that worked!   I know I was being silly but the mind does what the mind wants sometimes.

By the time I got to the centre which is an old Loblaws (grocer) building, I walked in the building and waited my turn at the gate.  There were 5 lines.  I never saw so many old people in one spot….haha, yeah, it was like looking at me, times 500.  There were more single people than couples.  I mention this only because a couple told me a few weeks ago how they were shocked about this.  I had never really noticed that. Of course it depends where you are in your own life. 

As I waited at the glass door for my turn to get through the glass door and register, I saw all the stations, and rows and rows of people…my heart started pounded, my throat tightened and I struggled to breathe. The more I paid attention to what was going on in my body, the harder it was to breathe.  I quickly scolded myself…telling myself, “Okay, stop it! Now count 5 things you can see…keep looking at what you can actually see!!”  I never got to what I hear or smell…just grounding myself with instructions to myself to articulate in my mind each item I could see and my breathing returned.  Nothing like trying to practice what you preach…and it works!

As I entered, I was told to remove my mask and with cooking thongs, the person gave me a new surgical mask.  Then I was told to get in the line and follow.  I was relieved to see there were markers that were 2 metres apart.  The couple behind me kept moving closer…I looked over my shoulder a few times and they got the message…well, okay, the last time I did look, I gave them “the Mother Look”.   Haha, I think the man got it and told his partner.  I realize when you are with another person, chatting, you can lose track of the distancing.  But let’s face it, we still have to be careful, and I think I will remain a bit strict in that area for a long time to come. 

One of my pet peeves pre-pandemic times are people who hover too close to you standing in line especially at the cash register when I am paying. It really irks me!  I would turn my back to them in the past…now I have found the courage to say, “Could you back up please” and if they stay put, I will add, “Back up! have a little respect for others. My space is also protecting you.”  I guess this is one thing the pandemic has taught me, to assert myself and when that doesn’t work…be a bit little aggressive. Before I would sigh out of frustration or once on my own, cry and be sad that there are some people who just don’t care about others. 

I realize that is a generalization and that some are just so covid fatigued, apathy has instilled and depression…so I know I need to be aware of that when asking to respect the 2-metre space.

By the time I got to register for the actual vaccine, I asked the gentleman which one was I getting and he ticked off “Pfizer”…yay!!  then I moved on to another person to answer questions about my health etc an in no time I was sitting at the station.  A lovely lady introduced herself giving me her name and profession…she is a pharmacist. I asked her questions I was concerned about and she was patient and did not rush me off.  Then I moved on to the section to sit and wait for 15 minutes. During that time a gentleman came over to ask for my vaccination“receipt” and added the date of my next vaccination in July…and voilà! As I waited the 15 minutes, my daughter texted me to ask if I was ok. I love her so much for caring and bringing me here and waiting.  I know she is very busy with her work as a manager and teenage boys, but she did not complain.  I texted her to tell her I was going out to wait and the sun was glorious!  Many people were sitting waiting for their rides and the man next to me had pulled down his mask and was coughing…hmmm, not too bright…so I moseyed on away from him a good 20 feet!

I feel so fortunate having adult children who care…taking time away from their busy schedule to drive Mom around for something like this.  However, I do look forward to my 2nd dose so I can jump on the bus, rent a car and get around…drop by to visit them rather than they coming to pick me up.  Covid has aged my habits by a good 15 years, meaning, no longer driving (since I do not own a vehicle) and afraid to take public transit to get around and taking the bus to the car rental place.  I say aged because I know my kids worry about me due to my lack of mobility as well for my health. 

I have spasms of weeping for a few seconds most days worrying about our future but they are short lived.  I can talk myself out of negativity.  Talking to a few friends and of course family and virtual chats with my grand-daughter uplifts me all the time.  I find myself closer in many ways to my children and have grown even closer to my friend/soul sister 650 kms away.  It IS so important to connect with a few people who you can laugh, bitch, cry and laugh with, at the drop of a hat.

I have indulged in too much screen time but watching so many medical shows that are American, I feel so fortunate to be living in a country where we all pitch in to pay that little extra on our paycheques so we can benefit with free health care no matter who you are.  Sure a few private clinics have surfaced due to the high demand but people who have insurance and/or can afford this …fine.  I know I can walk into a hospital and not worry about being charged anything except for a private room maybe but other than that, I do not have to put off getting medical attention because I don’t have a better insurance coverage or am not wealthy.  I never had to wait until I was 65 in order to get any  kind of health coverage.  So, yeah, I feel blessed living here.

I am thankful I still can work part time from home, eat well, (well, maybe too much these days) and live in a comfortable condo with all the amenities I need in walking distance.

I can’t wait for things to open up so I can slowly prepare for retirement…to explore more passions where I can volunteer…maybe find one or two places for diversity.  I am not ready to stop until I know I can stay active.

plants forming buds
others are late bloomers
still… feel the movement
life is slowly awakening
beauty once again

© tournesol ‘2021-04-08

flowers for valentine? ( haibun) Daily Moments Feb 14/2021

The earth has been diseased for decades and now for over a year, the world is still held hostage by a virus that has no mercy and gets stronger over time. Humans are at war with a trillion drones hiding in wait…yet, they are invisible! And so we walk around with the only protective gear possible even in this high tech era that we live.

Social distancing
Wearing a mask
Washing your hands

Social distancing
Preferably
STAY HOME

Wearing a mask
When you can’t social distance
Forget the lipstick

Washing your hands
BEFORE TOUCHING ANYTHING!

Scientists working tirelessly to give humans ammunition but it’s a slow,process to gear every human..

In the meantime, is nature really healing? I mean aside from seeing a bluer sky, is it really? When things get safer, how many humans will revert to old, damaging patterns? This “time out” is perhaps an opportunity for humans to change. Here is one way to hear from a long time environmentalist David Suzuki 

A bud
Struggling to blossom
Needing air and water

A bud is just a bud is just a possibility …

© Tournesol’2021-02-14

Daily Moments – it’s finally dark  free verse  Feb 13 2021

 

It’s finally dark…

Wake up with the sun
feeling like a prisoner
another long day

Looking for excuses
to stay safe inside
it’s too cold,
it’s too icy…

tired of playing
the same ol’ game
“catch me if you can”
corona has no shame

feed the cats
my prime concern
then grinding java beans
fragrant and delightful
a lift that makes me smile

lifting the blinds
just a little
just enough
felines sun bathe
yet not enough
to peek inside my lair

just enough to see outside
watching the same people
day after day
day after day
walking their lady lapdogs
jogging to the park
some walking hand in hand
day after day
same old shit,
different day

one, two, three hours pass
still finding reasons to stay inside
brushing my cat
petting the other
blessed my friends are here
keeping me sane

binging today
on SVU…Law and Order
stories about perpetrators
victims of abuse
tales remind me sometimes
of stories that I’ve heard
the only consolation on TV
the bad guy may get caught
the victim may finally heal
live sort of happy ever after.

another hour, it’s quiet
the cats are sleeping
bellies full
the streets are empty too
no walkers now
just cars parked in front
a visitor here
another guest there

not sure if it is illegal
but keeping someone sane
outweighs any Legault law
so long as curfews followed
such visits heal the soul

tired of playing
the same ol’ game
“catch me if you can”
corona has no shame

it’s finally dark
yet not too late
last minute souls
who brave the streets
to get a dozen eggs

it’s finally dark
we’re all shut in
it’s passed eight o’clock

it’s finally dark
survived another day…

tired of playing
the same ol’ game
“catch me if you can”
corona has no shame

 

(c) tournesol ‘2021 -02-13

Daily Moments – it’s finally dark  free verse  Feb 13 2021

Daily moments Feb 9 2021 tapestry of life (Troiku)

 

Loom Tapestry Learning image 0
Etsy – Loom Tapestry Learning

Today as my colleague was describing a counselling process, I was visualizing a collaborative partnership…like creating a tapestry. Each yarn, unique in its texture and colour; each row adding to the complexity forming; client holds bits and pieces of yarn, varried textures from thin to soft, soft to thick and coarse of so many colours; counsellor holds the loom and together a new story unfolds.

Wrapping yarn
Bulky, soft and unique
around each nail

wrapping yarn
attentive and respectful
to each detail

bulky, soft and unique
weaving each new syllable
tapestry of life

around each nail
exploring – discovering
options unfold

© tournesol ‘2021-02-09

Daily moments Feb 9 2021 tapestry of life (Troiku)

Who am I but me? (written 2014)

I am me, none other,
not my mother’s weaknesses
nor the sins of my father
but the qualities of my mother,
strength of my grandmother
sometimes tenacious,
impatience blessed
my fortitude
and sometimes
with  some solitude;
when o’er the top
kinsfolk distressed.

I am perfect
in my imperfection
I’m an ordinary human being,
doing the best I can
with utmost dedication.

I love to  help, care
listen with compassion
giving, feeds me double rations
so much more do I receive.

I am female
woman, all the time
insisting I be true
to my heart’s desires,
my need for intimacy
my thirst for sexuality
if society permitted
I would not have to store
said desires in a drawer
No indeed!
they’d call me an exciting player
rather than promiscuous stayer
and…
I’m also a lady the rest of the time;

I am not English
nor am I French
I am Canadian,
then I’m Québécoise
I am a product of my ancestors
woven of the best of tweeds
in French, Irish, Welsh, English
like most Canadian tapestries.

I’m independent
but not unfriendly
embrace my solitude
which toys two camps
of loneliness and isolation
ambivalence ascends
with feelings of worthlessness,
aloneness then transcends.

I love my mother,
and all my children,
and my children’s children too,
my sister moreover-
cousins most times,
my friends… true siblings
soul mates, by design.

I love with abandon
sheer lust and passion,
not always guarded…
but, ill prepared,
which sometimes breaks
the heart in two,
Lord Tennyson
seemed to know this pain
as quoted saying:
‘Tis better to have loved and lost,
than never to have loved at all.’

I want to wake next to a lover
but not lose me along the way
so much explored of me, discovered…
I learn to love me more each day.

Originally Published:  © Cheryl-Lynn R.’ 2014/05/14

Oh my! How life has changed since I  wrote this…but I have not…I wonder what verse I could add to 2021…something to think about…

Lean on me (troiku)

(c) clr’21 Richmond Hill, On.

a new dawn
daisies lift their heads to the sky
shimmering star

a new dawn
heart fills with butterflies
quiver with joy

daisies lift their heads to the sky
searching
morning promise

shimmering star
butterflies sip sweet nectar,
spreading hope in gold

© Tournesol’ 2021/01/10

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(c) clr '2021 Lake Wilcox, Richmond Hill, ON. Canada