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I’ll soon be there one day

I don`t judge you
I find life tough too.

There you are every day
at my subway every morning
there you are every day
like a blaring warning
of my own disgrace
that slaps me in the face
there you are every day.

I don’t judge you
I find life tough too.

I don’t mean to stare
at your choice of beverage?
There you are every morning
I see you at Dundas Square
like a psychic warning
the truth’s too hard to bear

I don’t judge you
because you ease your pain
since I do it too
keeps me from going insane.

I don’t judge you
I find life tough too.

If I look revolted, it’s sure not YOU!
If I look critical, it’s sure not YOU!
if I look shocked, It’s really not YOU!
I’m merely seeing a reflection
of my sourly spitting image
outcomes of my dereliction.

There you are every day
reminding me every morning
if I miss just one week’s pay
you’re my telepathic warning
I’ll be joining you damn soon
I’m already half way there
getting drunk at my saloon
the obvious, too great to bear
I’ll soon be there one day
at the subway every morning
there I’ll be every day
searching for relief someway.

so please forgive my insolence
I’m so not judging you!
my fears engulf me since
I know not what to do

Your presence is really
exposing ME , hinting
of what my life’s become;
your presence at Dundas Square,
just a sign what I shall bear.

So please forgive my insolence
I’m so not judging you
my fears engulf me since
I know not what to do.

© Cheryl-Lynn Roberts, originally written  September 5, 2013

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She must be Zen…

Hey, GiGi, wake up!!! Hey, GiGi, shove over!!!1060018_406335162815077_1762848578_n  Come on lil’ kitty, I want to clean the couch before mommy an daddy get home.

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Maybe if I get closer with this loud monster, she’ll run off.

 

 

 

 

Sheeesh, she does not seem to be afraid…wow!!

My Bette would be on top of my fridge by now.scardy bette Jan 2013

 

Guess GiGi is a very relaxed cat. Maybe it is the country air.  Let’t get a bit closer, that’ll scare her.1063605_406708396111087_2046750192_n

Nope…sheeesh!!! she must be a Yoga (Yogi?) Guru or Mindfulness Master or something…gotta get her over at my place to teach some relaxation to Bette. GiGi you are the Calm of Calmness, the serene of serenity.  You rock, kitty:)

Lots of unconditional love!

20130628_183552 20130628_183449 20130628_183500What an amazing weekend!  I am surrounded by 5 species who are giving me so much attention.  It will soon go to my head!!  I’m telling you, pet sitting is not difficult here, that’s for sure!  I am getting all the lovin’ a girl can ask for…

I am getting kisses, getting nudged and cuddled and THAT is not something to take for granted. No sireee; plus they do not expect anything from me except loving them.  Only pets can really give you that unconditional kind of love (except for my mom of course).

And since I do enjoy the quietness of the country, just birds, occasional car…I can reap this type of environment and write or read at my heart`s content. No disturbances whatsoever.  If one of the pooches need to go out, they stand up, move around a little to show that they are alive but no barking or whimpering on their part.  Nope, they sure are amazing!!

And the felines are just as amazing.  GiGi the grey little one will jump on the kitchen counter so I can run some water for her but I 20130628_191738don`t let her do that.  Their master have tried to wean her off that habit.  I just fill up her dish with “fresh” water right next to the sink and she loves it.

20130628_185640My heart does go out to Bill, though as he is sore. Yep, his joints are aching alright and I can so relate some days.  He has eyes that make you want to weep and cuddle him, but not too hard so as not to hurt the little fella.

The girls are pretty nice…so gentle considering their size! Mornings they nudge their noses on my bed to tell me “they gotta GO!” but20130628_183358 they don`t whine…they patiently wait.  Amazing!!!

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Now Shabby, he is so adorable with one green eye and one blue eye.  He tried to run away last year but I got his number this year and I check him much better.  For some reason,he seems to like me more and wants to stick around and comes close to me so I can pet him…both felines let me hold them for more than a minute.  Well, GiGi is a suckee alright, she just enjoys being held and petted.

So that`s how I start the first half of my weekend…Canada Day weekend here.  My friends in Toronto are also celebrating Gay Pride and I wish I could see that amazing parade they have every year on Yonge Street…it is a sight to see!!

20130628_191658But for now, I am just as content relaxing with my friends.  CL

 

Bonne St-Jean Baptiste!!

national_aboriginal_day_aptnWhat does this weekend represent to us Canadians?  Hmm, well last night I watched on APTN, National Aboriginal Day and the talent was outstanding!  So many different genres of music! It was moving, touching and entertaining and as a festival should be…fun!  What a great day to celebrate Summer Solstice and the fact that it was my mother’s birthday as well made it all worthy of such celebrations.

This weekend represents for the end of the school year for students up to and including High School in Quebec…other provinces across Canada may be a few more days still.

My son, a high school teacher, can now look forward to some R & R and much needed rest.  Why? Because teaching is NOT easy plus he travels so much to and from school…crossing 2 bridges one way only!

st-jean-baptistes-dayWhat else is happening this weekend…our National holiday for people residing  in Quebec…June 24th, is Saint Jean Baptiste Day…La fête nationale du Québec .

It is a celebration of Francophone identity, culture and history. On this day,  it is customary to wish  Quebecois  and French Canadian people, Bonne St-Jean!

In many towns and cities across Quebec, St-Jean Baptiste Day  used to be celebrated with parades and floats. I remember in my small town the same boy for 3 years was on the float posing as St Jean Baptiste with his blonde curly locks.   There was dancing in the streets, a fair for everyone to have fun and ended the evening with a huge bonfire and then  fireworks…I loved St-Jean Baptiste Day as a child.

photo_985266_resizeIt is still widely celebrated and there are huge concerts with celebrities in major cities in the 13province who perform.  A nice occasion to sit by a bonfire with friends and family, play guitar and sing along…it is connecting with folks…period. I used to love to sit by the bonfire at our camping when the children were younger and we gather to look with awe at the fireworks a few campers set off near the pier by the lake.

downloadThe traditional bonfire celebrating Summer Solstice (Midsummer)  on June 23rd  in various countries around the world, aboriginal-language-canadacontinues in Quebec joined with the celebration of St. Jean Baptiste. 

I find it to be a grand family celebration especially…who does not like a fair type day?  Who does not like fireworks?  It is a time to promote la Joie de Vive we, Quebecois are known for…live and let live.

Bonne St- Jean!

Rock a bye baby…

Emma June 14, 2013
Emma June 14, 2013

Finally I get to see my friend and her squeaky new born baby!! Yay!!  I can`t wait to smell her newborn baby scent.  I wish they could find cologne to mimic that awesome smell.  Just like the smell of leather…when you walk into Danier`s the smell of leather just fills your nostrils and it`s such pleasant and raw, sensual smell.  Oh my! Now how did I get on the subject of scents?  Oh yeah…babies!!!

How I remember well my first born!  When coming home from hospital, my son`s dad was getting things out of the car and I had laid my son on our double bed.  He looked so darn tiny.  I had undressed him and just stared at this tiny precious human being who was so dependent on me…on us.  The only thing he could do on his own was breath, pee, pooh, fart, burp and cry.  Well the burping needed a little help too.  But still!  I was just so overwhelmed with the sight of this infant and wondered if I would manage.

2013-04-07 16.17.56Speaking with my friend on the phone tonight made those entire memories flood back to me.  She has lots more friends with young children to tell her what to do and not do though.   Hopefully she will limit the “free advice” to a few that are consistent with her beliefs.  It can get so daunting and annoying too.  It is a time that moms are vulnerable to criticism and advice.  Advice giving can also destabilize a new mom.  She needs to build her confidence not be told what to do every second of the day!  She needs to be empowered and a little reasonable support and suggestion here and there is fine…but please!! Women, don`t you remember how you felt when tom, dick and harry told you what to do and not to do?  Most advice contradicted with others and it got so confusing you just wanted to scream!! More often than not, you just curled up and cried out of helplessness and discouragement.

I had a few close friends who had young children and family of course.  And I limited regular phone calls to ONLY 3 moms that had similar values and parenting styles that I admired and wanted as a model.  I was nursing my son and back in 1978 it was just returning as the “norm”.  So many family members kept questioning me, “Why do you bother to do that? You are going to be so tired and what if your milk does not come in? What if you don`t have enough milk? And what about when you get back to work in 3 months?” In those days maternity leave was maximum 4 months paid by unemployment insurance.

Well, I will never forget the support I got from those 3 moms and I joined a support group similar to La Leche League at our local CLSC and eventually volunteered and offered support in turn too.  It replaced the old-fashioned huge extended families.  Many moms supporting other moms with breastfeeding, child development, nutrition, parenting and so much more.  It was a place you could feel “normal” for feeling overwhelmed at times being a stay at home mom.  It`s the toughest and most important job you will ever do in a lifetime…raising a child.

Boy oh boy, they sure don`t tell us that at sex Ed classes and not even during prenatal classes!  The little infant does not EVEN come back home from hospital with a workbook with instructions adapted to “this particular model”.  No Sireee, once you get home…you are on your own!

So it is a good thing you can scrounge up some supportive friends, some family and professional resources too.

annetteI remember when my dearest friend,  Annette came to visit me when I first came out of hospital. I was so tired. I could hardly sit down for obvious reasons and I had not got the hang of the nursing quite yet…I was so awkward, weak and sore.  I bet I looked like a rag for sure. Well, she didn`t stay long and 4 days later, she arrives at 11a.m. with a huge container in her arms.  The container was 2 full course warm meals for our lunch.  I was so surprised and pleased as well.   After we ate, I fed my son and then she asked if she could burp him and put him to sleep while I had a nap.  Oh boy!! Did I run to bed quickly.  I trusted her with my baby…she was his godmother after all!  Normally I was a little tigress with my baby but not with Annette.

I could hear him whimpering and then crying. Oh dear, I thought, he must have gas…poor thing.  But she sang to him and rocked him and he finally went to sleep.  She nestled him in the crib next to my bed and shut the door.

For 2 hours she dusted, mopped the floor, vacuumed the entire house, washed my kitchen, did the dishes and washed my bathroom from A to Z.  And when Annette cleans up…you DO notice!!  I was so touched when I woke up and saw all that she did.  I will never, to this day, ever forget her selfless act that day.  I guess that`s why we have been friends for so many years.  My son is now 34 and I still remember that day like it was yesterday.

I hope I can be of service to my dear friend tomorrow too and rock that beautiful infant so her mama can rest a bit.  This is the beginning of a new chapter in her life, and in mine as well.  Thank you, Marie-Hélène for being you and having Emma.