pre-dawn cloudburst
flowers hang their heavy heads
old man heaves
coming home from Hurley’s Pub
hanging low away from mum
(c) Tournesol ’15
http://chevrefeuillescarpediem.blogspot.ca/2015/08/on-trail-with-basho-encore-11-drinking.html
pre-dawn cloudburst
flowers hang their heavy heads
old man heaves
coming home from Hurley’s Pub
hanging low away from mum
(c) Tournesol ’15
http://chevrefeuillescarpediem.blogspot.ca/2015/08/on-trail-with-basho-encore-11-drinking.html
One would feel naturally guilty not coming home for the night but only at pre-dawn. Good observation and good lines Cheryl!
Hank
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Ah thanks, Hank:)
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A nice kyoka .. or maybe a tanka … in the sense that you wrote it very well dear friend … though I’ve got my doubts about up-chucking people being humorous 😉
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I wanted to make it a solo renga but left it as tanka. Enough was said. The hum our of course was more tongue in cheek. I had another I may share but on the other blog. I still chuckle thinking about it.
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🙂
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Synchronicity, right enough, Cheryl-Lynn! 🙂
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Indeed! No further comment from me…….!
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*smiles*
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nice tanka !
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I may have to change my title to (Kyoka) …I just learned that the humour changed it. So much to learn!
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Its the words that counts Cheryl ! 🙂
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Thank you:)
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Its the words that count ,Cheryl!
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Nice kyoka Cheryl Lynn … it’s a nice poetry form too.
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And here I thought it was a tanka…so is it due to the humour that makes it a tanka?
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Kyoka is more meant as humorfull and satiric … tanka is more the serious way and often more for writing poems for your loved one(s).
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Thank you, Kristjaan, I am ¸understanding the nuances better now.
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